What I did like about the movie, aside from being gratuitously violent escapism, was the sheer intensity of the action – marred only by the overuse of the slow motion effect.  The cinematography was outstanding, as was the fight choreography.

What I really loved about 300, however, is the fact that it pissed off the zealots.  The anti-war zealots were pissed that there wasn’t any kind of anti-war message at all.  No…I take that back.  The anti-war character turned out to be a traitor who was being paid by the enemy.  In addition to pissing off the anti-war zealots, 300 pissed off the zealots running the Islamofascist state of Iran.

All-in-all, 300 was an enjoyable flick, and the irate Iranians was just icing on the cake.

Seriously, anyone whose faith is threatened by a work of FICTION obviously has issues with his or her own faith.

Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor is gonna rock!

Last night, Mister Priapus and I went to see a midnight showing of Serenity. For those who may not know, Serenity is a feature film based off the television series Firefly.

For people who are not familiar with the television show, there may be some gaps in the movie’s plot, but the movie does include enough background so that newcomers aren’t completely lost.

For those who are familiar with Firefly, it’s like getting reacquainted with old friends. The wit and banter amongst the crew of the space ship Serenity is as it was on the show. For example, the show starts with Serenity entering atmosphere, and a piece of the ship comes off, causing the ship to start bucking.

Wash: Mal, you might want to tell people to strap in. Things might get a little interesting.
Mal: What do you mean by interesting?
Wash: [calmly] Oh, God. Oh God. We’re all going to die.
Mal: [into microphone] Attention crew, this is the captain. Strap yourselves in as were going to encounter some turbulence…and possibly explode.

Serenity is funny, serious, and exciting, all at the same time. We learn the origins of the Reavers. More importantly, we learn the secret behind River Tam, and why the Alliance is so hot to get its hands on her.

In my own humble opinion, Serenity is, by far, the best movie to come out this year. Go see it.

Here’s my idea: How about Hollywood making movies that aren’t complete crap.

If you look at the movies that have come out this summer, they’re comprised almost solely of remakes, sequels, 2-hour long SNL skits, or bastardizations of television shows of years gone by. To be blunt, this whole summer movie season has been a vast vortex of suckitude of a scale never before imagined.

And that’s just this summer.

This downward trend has been in the making for at least the past decade, and shows no sign of letting up in the forseeable future.

This is not to say, of course, that all the movies that have come out have been total write offs. There were two movies I’ve seen this year that didn’t completely suck. Batman Begins was surpisingly well done, despite its plot being being somewhat formulaic. Revenge of the Sith was a nice surprise; I was expecting another letdown along the lines of Attack of the Clones.

A couple of gems, however, do not make up for the cinematic travesties known as Fantastic Four, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Bewitched, and The Dukes of Hazard.

These past few years have seen a major slump at the box office. Why? Because there are very few original shows coming out of Hollywood. Almost all of the major “hits” this year are either sequels, remakes of previous films, or 70′s television shows brought to the big screen. War of the Worlds. Herbie: Fully Loaded. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Bewitched. The Bad News Bears. The Dukes of Hazard. All of these are rehashed and bastardized versions of something that was good in the past but has now been sullied by Hollywood during their quest to cash in on on what, for many, are considered fond childhood memories.

Let’s take a look at a piece written by former Congressman Ben Jones, who played “Cooter” in the television series The Dukes of Hazard.

THE DUKES MOVIE:
DON’T GO UNLESS THEY CLEAN IT UP!

Hey Y’all,

I thought this would be a good time to let everybody know my feelings about the upcoming “Dukes of Hazzard” feature film, since if it weren’t for the “Dukes” fans, our show would have been long since “put out to pasture.” The folks who love our show have kept it alive and well, despite the lack of respect it has been shown by “Hollywood.”

Web sites like ours have been an extraordinary means of communication for the “Dukes” community. The power of the internet has enabled us to not only keep the show viable, but to help make it a hit show all over again. CMT is getting record ratings and the kids of America think it is a new show. In our business, it doesn’t get much better than that.

Like our fans, those of us who worked on the show have a special affection for it. For over 25 years we have cared about it, nourished it, and fought for it. And it seems to me that it is time for us to have our voices heard again. From all I have seen and heard, the “Dukes” movie is a sleazy insult to all of us who have cared about the “Dukes of Hazzard” for so long.

You probably know that the creators of this film wanted absolutely nothing to do with the original members of the cast. Doesn’t that seem strange to you, given how popular our show is right now, and how popular our cast still is? After all, our huge success for so many years is the reason they are making the film, and the film, after all, is about us.

In the last few years I reckon I’ve done many hundreds of interviews around the country on radio and television and for dozens of newspapers. I always tell them that ours is a classic family show with positive values, great action, wonderful slapstick comedy, mighty fine country music, and a very gifted cast who had great chemistry. America could tell that we were clearly enjoying what we were doing and for that hour folks could forget their troubles and just have fun along with us. It is exactly the kind of entertainment that families crave right now.

Lately most of the interviewers want to know my opinion of the “movie” version that is coming out in August. I’ve always tried to be candid with my opinions, and when it comes to this film, I think it would be a mistake for me to pull the punches. Like you, I haven’t seen the film, but I have read the script, I’ve talked to a lot of people who worked on the set, and I’ve seen the raunchy TV commercial. Frankly, I think the whole project shows an arrogant disrespect for our show, for our cast, for America’s families, and for the sensibilities of the heartland of our country.

Unless they clean it up before the August 5th release date I would strongly recommend that true blue Dukes fans hold their noses and pass this one up. And whatever you do, don’t take any youngsters to see it. As plain as I can put it, the only thing this movie shares with our show is the title. Oh, they do have the General Lee flying through the air, although according to the New York Times, they didn’t even use stunt drivers.

Sure it bothers me that they wanted nothing to do with the cast of our show, but what bothers me much more is the profanity laced script with blatant sexual situations that mocks the good clean family values of our series. Now, anybody who knows me knows that I’m not a prude. But this kind of toilet humor has no place in Hazzard County. Rather than honoring our legendary show, they have chosen to degrade it.

When CMT brought our series back on the air in February of this year, 23 million viewers tuned in on that first weekend. Very few, if any, movies have ever matched those kind of numbers for an opening weekend. Our show is a hit right now! Very young children have fallen in love with the “Dukes” on CMT, just as their parents did 25 years ago. They love the positive values of our show, its wholesome friendliness, and the fact that Bo and Luke are heroes who always make the right moral choice. How can the producers of this film be so cynical, so jaded, so out of touch with America’s heartland as to trash a great family show in this way?

Well, there may not be much we can do, but we have to do all we can. Let’s send them a message: “If you don’t clean it up, we’re not going to see it.” Maybe a kick in their pocketbook will get their attention.

The Hon. Ben Jones
The BriarPatch
Washington,Va.