Jesus will save m*glug-glug-glug*
The lengths people will go to in order to justify their own religious beliefs are simply amazing. Whether it’s the Virgin Mary on a glass window pane, Jesus making his routine appearances on toast, or people trying to evoke the Divine into miraculous acts of faith, the result is always the same: someone ends up looking like a complete moron.
In the last two years, two different people tried to convert lions to Christianity. One of these men was severely injured. The other, failing to take the situation of the first guy as a warning of impending doom, was mauled and killed by the lion whose very soul he was trying to save.
Today’s Jesus-related Darwin nomination is the evangelist who drowned while trying to walk on water. It’s been a while, but I seem to remember one of the biblical lessons being not to test the power of God. Despite this lesson, people – mostly of the evangelical sort – attempt this on a regular basis with results that are best described as “disastrous”.
Wake up, folks. Jesus doesn’t care if you drown, get mauled by lions, or make that touchdown that will forever be the highlight of your high school football career. The sooner you realize this, the less time you’ll spend making a fool of yourself.
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