Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven”
As told by the Swedish Chef:
Once-a upun a meednight dreery, vheele-a I pundered, veek und veery,
Oofer muny a qooeeent und cooreeuoos fuloome-a ooff furguttee lure-a,
Vheele-a I nudded, neerly neppeeng, sooddenly zeere-a ceme-a a teppeeng,
Es ooff sume-a oone-a gently reppeeng, reppeeng et my chember duur.”
‘Tees sume-a feesitur,” I moottered, “teppeeng et my chember duur -
Oonly thees, und nutheeng mure-a.”
Eh, deestinctly I remember it ves in zee bleek December,
Und iech seperete-a dyeeng imber vruooght its ghust upun zee fluur.
Iegerly I veeshed zee murroo; – feeenly I hed suooght tu burroo
Frum my buuks soorceese-a ooff surroo – surroo fur zee lust Lenure-a -
Fur zee rere-a und redeeunt meeedee vhum zee ungels neme-a Lenure-a -
Nemeless here-a fur ifermure-a. Bork Bork Bork!
Und zee seelkee sed uncerteeen roostleeng ooff iech poorple-a coorteeen
Threelled me-a – feelled me-a veet funtesteec terrurs nefer felt beffure-a;
Su thet noo, tu steell zee beeteeng ooff my heert, I stuud repeeteeng,”
‘Tees sume-a feesitur intreeteeng intrunce-a et my chember duur -
Sume-a lete-a feesitur intreeteeng intrunce-a et my chember duur; -
Thees it is, und nutheeng mure-a.”
Presently my suool groo strunger; heseeteting zeen nu lunger,
“Sur,” seeed I, “oor Medem, trooly yuoor furgeefeness I implure-a;
Boot zee fect is I ves neppeeng, und su gently yuoo ceme-a reppeeng,
Und su feeently yuoo ceme-a teppeeng, teppeeng et my chember duur,
Thet I scerce-a ves soore-a I heerd yuoo”- here-a I oopened veede-a zee duur; -
Derkness zeere-a, und nutheeng mure-a
Deep intu thet derkness peereeng, lung I stuud zeere-a vundereeng, feereeng,
Duoobteeng, dreemeeng dreems nu murtels ifer dered tu dreem beffure-a;
Boot zee seelence-a ves unbrukee, und zee steellness gefe-a nu tukee,
Und zee oonly vurd zeere-a spukee ves zee vheespered vurd, “Lenure-a?”
Thees I vheespered, und un ichu moormoored beck zee vurd, “Lenure-a!” -
Merely thees, und nutheeng mure-a. Bork Bork Bork!
Beck intu zee chember toorneeng, ell my suool veethin me-a boorneeng,
Suun egeeen I heerd a teppeeng sumoohet luooder thun beffure-a.
“Soorely,” seeed I, “soorely thet is sumetheeng et my veendoo letteece-a:
Let me-a see-a, zeen, vhet zeereet is, und thees mystery ixplure-a -
Let my heert be-a steell a mument und thees mystery ixplure-a; -
‘Tees zee veend und nutheeng mure-a.”
Opee here-a I floong zee shootter, vhee, veet muny a flurt und flootter,
In zeere-a stepped a stetely refee ooff zee seeently deys ooff yure-a;
Nut zee leest oobeeesunce-a mede-a he-a; nut a meenoote-a stupped oor steyed he-a;
Boot, veet meeee ooff lurd oor ledy, perched ebufe-a my chember duur -
Perched upun a boost ooff Pelles joost ebufe-a my chember duur -
Perched, und set, und nutheeng mure-a. Bork Bork Bork!
Zeen thees ibuny burd begooeeling my sed funcy intu smeeling,
By zee grefe-a und stern decuroom ooff zee cuoontenunce-a it vure-a.
“Thuoogh thy crest be-a shurn und shefee, thuoo,” I seeed, “ert soore-a nu crefee,
Ghestly greem und unceeent refee vundereeng frum zee Neeghtly shure-a -
Tell me-a vhet thy lurdly neme-a is oon zee Neeght’s Plootuneeun shure-a!”
Qoout zee Refee, “Nefermure-a.”
Mooch I merfelled thees ungeeenly fool tu heer deescuoorse-a su pleeenly,
Thuoogh its unsver leettle-a meuneeng- leettle-a relefuncy bure-a;
Fur ve-a cunnut help egreeeeng thet nu leefing hoomun beeeng
Ifer yet ves blest veet seeeeng burd ebufe-a hees chember duur -
Burd oor beest upun zee scoolptoored boost ebufe-a hees chember duur,
Veet sooch neme-a es “Nefermure-a.”
Boot zee refee, seetting lunely oon zee pleceed boost, spuke-a oonly
Thet oone-a vurd, es iff hees suool in thet oone-a vurd he-a deed ooootpuoor.
Nutheeng foorzeer zeen he-a uttered- nut a feezeer zeen he-a floottered -
Teell I scercely mure-a thun moottered, “oozeer freeends hefe-a floon beffure-a -
Oon zee murroo he-a veell leefe-a me-a, es my hupes hefe-a floon beffure-a.”
Zeen zee burd seeed, “Nefermure-a.”
Stertled et zee steellness brukee by reply su eptly spukee,
“Duoobtless,” seeed I, “vhet it utters is its oonly stuck und sture-a,
Cooght frum sume-a unheppy mester vhum unmerceeffool
Deesester Fullooed fest und fullooed fester teell hees sungs oone-a boordee bure-a -
Teell zee durges ooff hees Hupe-a thet melunchuly boordee bure-a
Ooff ‘Nefer – nefermure’.”
Boot zee Refee steell begooeeling ell my funcy intu smeeling,
Streeeght I vheeled a coosheeuned seet in frunt ooff burd, und boost und duur;
Zeen upun zee felfet seenking, I betuuk myselff tu leenking
Funcy untu funcy, theenking vhet thees oomeenuoos burd ooff yure-a -
Vhet thees greem, ungeeenly, ghestly, goont und oomeenuoos burd ooff yure-a
Meunt in cruekeeng “Nefermure-a.”
Thees I set ingeged in gooesseeng, boot nu sylleble-a ixpresseeng
Tu zee fool vhuse-a feeery iyes noo boorned intu my busum’s cure-a;
Thees und mure-a I set deefining, veet my heed et iese-a recleening
Oon zee coosheeun’s felfet leening thet zee lempleeght glueted oo’er,
Boot vhuse-a felfet feeulet leening veet zee lempleeght glueteeng oo’er,
She-a shell press, eh, nefermure-a! Bork Bork Bork!
Zeen methuooght zee eur groo denser, perffoomed frum un unseee censer
Svoong by Serepheem vhuse-a fuutffells teenkled oon zee tooffted fluur.
“Vretch,” I creeed, “thy Gud het lent zeee-a – by zeese-a ungels he-a het sent zeee-a
Respeete-a – respeete-a und nepenzee, frum thy memureees ooff Lenure-a:
Qooeffff, ooh qooeffff thees keend nepenzee und furget thees lust Lenure-a!”
Qoout zee Refee, “Nefermure-a.”
“Pruphet!” seeed I, “theeng ooff ifeel! – pruphet steell, iff burd oor defeel! – Vhezeer
Tempter sent, oor vhezeer tempest tussed zeee-a here-a eshure-a,
Desulete-a yet ell undoonted, oon thees desert lund inchunted -
Oon thees hume-a by hurrur hoonted- tell me-a trooly, I implure-a -
Is zeere-a – is zeere-a belm in Geeleed? – tell me-a – tell me-a,
I implure-a!” Qoout zee Refee, “Nefermure-a.”
“Pruphet!” seeed I, “theeng ooff ifeel – pruphet steell, iff burd oor defeel!
By thet Heefee thet bends ebufe-a us – by thet Gud ve-a but edure-a -
Tell thees suool veet surroo ledee iff, veethin zee deestunt Eeedenn,
It shell clesp a seeented meeedee vhum zee ungels neme-a Lenure-a -
Clesp a rere-a und redeeunt meeedee vhum zee ungels neme-a Lenure-a.”
Qoout zee Refee, “Nefermure-a.”
“Be-a thet vurd oooor seegn in perteeng, burd oor feeend,” I shreeeked, upsterteeng -
Get zeee-a beck intu zee tempest und zee Neeght’s Plootuneeun shure-a!
Leefe-a nu bleck ploome-a es a tukee ooff thet leee-a thy suool het spukee!
Leefe-a my luneleeness unbrukee!- qooeet zee boost ebufe-a my duur!
Teke-a thy beek frum oooot my heert, und teke-a thy furm frum ooffff my duur!”
Qoout zee Refee, “Nefermure-a. Bork Bork Bork!
Und zee Refee, nefer fleetting, steell is seetting, steell is seetting
Oon zee pelleed boost ooff Pelles joost ebufe-a my chember duur;
Und hees iyes hefe-a ell zee seemeeng ooff a demun’s thet is dreemeeng,
Und zee lempleeght oo’er heem streemeeng throos hees shedoo oon zee fluur;
Und my suool frum oooot thet shedoo thet leees flueteeng oon zee fluur
Shell be-a leeffted – nefermure-a! Bork Bork Bork!
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